Wednesday, April 20, 2005 ++

Got a called from a school. There'll be an interview on the fourteenth of may. Hope everything goes well.


As the moonlight sonata is playing on my itunes, i suddenly feel calm and nice. But a bunch of monkeys are playing ACAB in the living room. So much for the peaceful part. MONKEYS.

I feel happy yet sad. Mixed feelings pours. I've known a person. He taught me alot, he's dying, he's into drugs. I promised not to touch drugs. Never ever again. I think he's telling me to treasure my life.

5 months sounds like a short period to know someone. But i never felt anything like that for a person before. Some one i can really look up to as a mentor as a teacher as a friend.

This five months, i see myself transformed into someone mature, some one who gives valauable advice to friends in need.

Sam, a sad man. He's self deluding himself. He is his own prison. Don't be silly, if you're reading this i know what's your problem. You have to grow up. Really.

Moonlight sonata. The song of the moon. As it slowly fades to an end, i wake up again to find you in my bed.
1:11 AM

Friday, April 08, 2005 ++

ooh i'm blogging. that's because there's nothing better for me to do... yes there is i can practice my stuff but not in that music mood. i want to keep it slo-w.

And yes, i was back trackking what i was doing on fridays in the past month. I had lessons on life and how to live it. Yeah, it doesnt bother me much but hanging out with old punks are fun alright. Not to that extreme yet but chilling discovery listening to life stories inspire me much as a person. heh. ok. so, the picture on my blog. that's nicholas, isnt he a sweetie. ok can be quite nasty sometimes.

Anyways, oh oh oh... a bapok likes my shirt.DOOR BITCH. Bitch it like joycelyn. hm. its 12.25pm i'm sitting here with my eye lid droooping or rather sagging like a old hag's breast. the phone is ringing, no one bothers to pick it up, ok that bastard hanged up.

yes... i'm lacking of sleeeeep. will some one just put me to sleeep? How interesting when u realise everyone u know and used to be so in good terms with are now erm... i wont use the word ignore, drifting, away from you. Oh wells, i'm also a bad person. i call my friends smurfs. i'm papa smurf, so u smurfs have to listen to meh.

Photo shoot was great. tried new stuff discovered a damn cool underpass. ilovemycamera but i kinda hate the flash. its too bright. ok that's the flasher's purpose but i still dont like it. ok the next thing i gonna add into my collection is a shutter shoot. booo then i can take pics of myself. i want to go salvation army to get props. PROPS I WANT PROPS I NEED PROPS. bah... who wants to be my model? heh. its gonna be fun but dirty. Not so much of porn lols, but its gonna be fun and horny. haha... hmm i sound like a guy.

Anyways... i can still afford to sleep for an hour before brushing up to go to my playground. tower records. heh, you can earn 37 dollars while playing. what's there to complain about. hahahahahhahahaha. i like my blog just need music. but no-one enjoys my music so i think i'll leave it as it is. hmm... punkassssssssssss here and out-




oh i might be going lasssalle. hahaha.. cheat my way through. haha.
9:21 PM

Thursday, April 07, 2005 ++

Something about life. People always ask what life's all about? Well for those reading, to me life is just a piece of crap. The only reason why i havent ended mine is because of just one person. I'll keep it a secret. For me, i cant find any passion for life anymore. Tried most of the things teenage girls at my age wont do. Dont ask what, just think.

Drank that beer, Watched that show... hmm i havent been to london. i havent had lunch with mr punk. i havent been awarded the craziest girl of the century. i havent own a property/object under my name. oh wells, maybe all these are another reasons why i'm still living... But one thing i really wish to do is to marry. yeah, marry to the man i lurve lurve lurve. Most girls dont really fantasize about marriages at this age, but me, i've planned everything i want for my wedding. How the wedding dinner be like. Where the wedding pictures be taken. Well, even the wedding dress i want to be in. I love weddings.

Then again, i'm a loner. The difference between lonely and alone is that lonely is a feeling while there's people still there for you. but alone is that there's no one there you can really relate to. Yeah, i'm alone in this world. who really knows my woes, who really feel my pain of lonliness. I have had many times i wanted to just end my life with over dosage of panadols or whatever stuff in my fridge, but nope... it didnt work. heh.. body rejected it. People say i look like a drug addict, maybe i am.

Why am i typing all these. Do you care? Who even bother to read this. Who actually put me in their "good friend" list. I dont think anyone gives a bloody damn about me. when i've visited london, drank tea with punkasses i'll end my life with a sweet ending in a black wedding gown.

Kick some raw asses you punk poseurs. ____ning
9:16 AM

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